


the beast you’ve made of me

by Like_A_Dove, violethoure666



Category: Star Wars, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Ben is 25 to start, Ben is big puppy, Canon Age Difference, F/M, Human Rey, Imprinting, Modern AU, Rey is 15, Rey is tough cookie, Soulmate AU, Soulmates, Werewolf Ben, age gap, don’t worry no nonsense before 18
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-03
Updated: 2019-07-13
Packaged: 2020-02-16 17:34:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 17,370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18696121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Like_A_Dove/pseuds/Like_A_Dove, https://archiveofourown.org/users/violethoure666/pseuds/violethoure666
Summary: Kylo Ren is a werewolf and part of Snoke’s elite pack of hunters. So when he accidentally imprints on a fifteen year old girl in the middle of Kroger, things get a little complicated.





	1. the wallet

Ben isn’t even supposed to be here. He never goes to the market in the middle of the afternoon, on a  _ Wednesday,  _ when it’s absolutely packed with teens fresh out of school and moms trying to corral toddlers away from the toy aisle and everyone fresh out of work grabbing pre-made sandwiches and deli meat. 

 

He  _ never _ comes here when it’s this crowded. It’s a 24 hour supermarket, he usually shops during bouts of insomnia, when the market is empty and overbright. 

 

He just needs one thing, the special oat milk he uses in his protein smoothies,  _ that’s it, _ he tells himself, he’ll be in and out. 

 

What’s the worst that could happen. 

  
  


This. This is the worst. Beyond the worst. A walking nightmare. 

 

He turns the corner into the frozen aisle and see’s her. 

 

She looks little, not just small but  _ young _ , the fresh face of a kid on the body of a teenager and her hair is pulled into a bun and she’s just scowling at one of those Hungry Man frozen dinners. 

 

Ben’s heart rate is always a little high, but it nearly doubles, beating close to 200 beats per minute. His body temperature shifts from regular warm to freezing cold and then on fire. He cannot breath, or move, or control his limbs, which have gone heavy and slack. 

 

He falls to his knees in the middle of Kroger, oat milk rolling away and leaking. 

 

“Hey,” she says, noticing him. “Uhm—are you okay?”

 

Her voice. Her  _ voice.  _ It pulls on something inside of him and he actually groans. How can she sound like Christmas morning when he was six? The first time he rode a motorcycle, the call of the moon. 

 

He can’t speak, can’t stay here— looks at and her and— fuck she’s just a kid, she’s got a backpack that has doodles all over it. He’s gonna be sick. 

 

He used every inch of his willpower to pull himself up off of the linoleum floor and then he runs out of the market, barely making it into the woods before shifting. 

 

He doesn’t even think about his car, just keeps running until he’s too dizzy and has to stop to puke behind a tree, forcing himself to face the reality of what just happened.

 

He imprinted. 

 

He fucking  _ imprinted _ and not even on another wolf, not even an  _ adult _ human. Some kid. Some kid in shitty clothes with beautiful eyes who eats the trashiest frozen food for dinner.

 

_ Snoke is going to kill you.  _

 

Ben thinks of his pack leader, of what he would do with someone like her— he feels another wave of nausea. 

 

He tries to calm himself, tries to  _ fix this _ somehow.

 

_ Snoke is never going to know.  _

_ This never happened. You’ll never see her again. It’s the only way to really protect her. _

_ And you can handle whatever pain that brings. End of story.  _

 

Ben waits until his breath comes back before running the rest of the way home, resigning himself to get his car another day. 

 

It seems utterly unimportant in light of the rest of today’s events. 

 

He isn’t hungry, he just goes to his gym room to run some more but this time as a human. He sweats until his body aches. Then he lays down in his bed, alone. 

 

He can’t forget her though, knows he will likely spend every night for the rest of his life remembering her face scrunched up with worry, remembering the sound of her voice. 

 

_ Are you okay? _

 

No. He is definitely not okay. 

 

Fuck. 

 

**

 

Rey’s phone burns in her pocket.

 

She probably  _ should  _ call Finn, let him know where she’s currently heading, but…

 

_ “Hey, Finn! This weird guy dropped his wallet at Kroger yesterday and I’ve taken it upon myself to give it back.” _

 

She doubted he would take it well.

 

Scattered gravel and dirt crunch under her shoes as she makes her way down the shabby sidewalk. Whoever this Kylo Ren is (she can’t  _ believe _ that’s the actual name on his license), he only lives about a fifteen minute walk from Plutt’s pawn shop.

 

Rey’s left hand clenches around the wallet she’s carrying, the worn black leather supple underneath her fingertips. He’d gotten up from his knees so fast the day before that it must have fallen out of his pocket without him noticing. He was out of the store before Rey could so much as call after him. She’d picked the wallet off the tiled floor of the frozen aisle, Hungry Man dinner forgotten. She’d thought about leaving it at the Customer Service kiosk. He’d come looking for it eventually, right? And even if he didn’t, it wasn’t really her problem.

 

And yet, Rey had hurriedly tucked the fallen wallet into her backpack. No one had noticed, thankfully, and she’d picked out a frozen Stouffer’s macaroni and cheese as if on auto-pilot.

 

Last night, after she’d already changed into her pajamas and brushed her teeth, she’d pulled out the wallet before climbing into her bed. She’d tentatively pulled out his license, breath lurching at the man’s picture. He hadn’t been smiling, and Rey traced the tip of her pointer finger against the plastic, wondering what his face would look like if he  _ did _ smile.

 

An odd thought to have for a super weird stranger who had like, a panic attack or something on his knees in front of her. In the middle of Kroger.

 

Rey had taken note of a few different things about him.

 

His name was Kylo Ren. He wasn’t an organ donor (dick). He lived a little over a mile away. And he’s twenty-five (ten years older than her, so basically old as balls).

 

And now here Rey is, slowing to a stop in front of what she’s pretty sure is Kylo Ren’s house. It’s nothing too special, doesn’t stand out. Although not much in this town really stands out, except for the wolves that howl at night.

 

Sucking in a deep, fortifying breath, Rey cuts through the scrubby lawn to the front door, hand reaching out and ringing the doorbell before she can lose her nerve.

 

At first she doesn’t hear any signs of life coming from the other side of the door. No shuffling feet, no voice calling that they’ll  _ be right there _ . It’s why Rey is so startled when the door suddenly opens and a very tall, very shirtless Kylo Ren is peering down at her with wide eyes.

 

She’s clearly picked a bad time.

 

“Um.”

 

“The girl from Kroger,” he croaks out, sounding like he’s been out in the sun all day with no water.

 

“It’s Rey.” Her voice sounds much more assured than she feels; Rey is quite proud of herself for this. “You, um, you dropped your wallet yesterday.” And then she holds it out to him, keeping her gaze on his face and not--not--

 

There’s a  _ lot _ of him.

 

And Kylo just sort of...stands there staring at her. His eyes drift all about her face, drinking in everything about her as if it’s very important that he do so. Her brain logically supplies to her that this  _ should _ make her skin crawl, that he  _ should  _ frighten her. Instead Rey just feels...perfectly fine.

 

And then Kylo Ren is clearing his throat and snatching the wallet from her hand. “Ah, thank you. I--I had a seizure, yesterday…” He trails off, his excuse sounding half hearted to both their ears.

 

Rey shrugs. “You were really high, I get it.” It’s not like it would be the first time she’s seen someone so fucked up they can’t function, but she keeps that to herself.

 

“I wasn’t, actually.” He sounds resigned, and Rey tilts her head up at him with a furrowed brow. He doesn’t seem to be lying, and he doesn’t really  _ look _ like someone who is on hard drugs. He looks healthy and strong.

 

Rey nods, gaze going down to her feet as she feels her cheeks begin to heat up. So this is it then, she supposes. All this build up for a kind of awkward one-minute conversation.

 

She slides a step back, glancing up at him and opening her mouth to wish him farewell, when a thunderous expression crosses his pale face.

 

“Wait wait, why the  _ fuck _ are you going to strange men’s houses that you don’t even know?”

 

Rey blinks, taken aback by his sudden anger.

 

“I could be a fucking pervert! I could be a Ted Bundy-esque son of a bitch with a bunch of bodies buried in my yard because I  _ murdered _ them and--and--stop fucking laughing.”

 

“Sorry, you’re just...kind of dramatic.” Rey chuckles, coming down a little bit from her laughing fit. She grins up at him and the corner of his mouth twitches. She remembers what she had thought about the night before, about what his face might look like if he smiled. “Anyway, my foster dad will flip if I’m not there to help with customers soon.”

 

The slightly upturned corner of Kylo’s mouth flattens again into a hard line. “Who?”

 

“Plutt. He runs the pawn shop. Anyway, I’ll see you around, Kylo Ren.” She snorts again at his absurd name, turning and making her way back across the lawn.

 

“Rey!” he calls out after her, making her pause and look at him over her shoulder. The wind catches her ponytail and loose bangs, whipping her hair around her face and somewhat obscuring her vision.

 

So she misses the longing on his face when he says, “Thank you!”

 

**

 

He wishes Rey hadn’t come here. He wishes he didn’t know her name, or where her  _ foster dad _ works. 

 

Foster care, that explains the frozen dinner. 

 

His wallet has three hundred in cash still stashed inside, not to mention credit cards. He cannot fathom why she didn’t take it, she obviously needs it. 

 

Rey could have grabbed the cash and tossed the rest up to customer service. 

 

But instead Rey came here,  _ to his house _ to give it back.

 

Rey. 

 

It’s a beautiful name, unusual. 

 

He groans, because he knows what’s going to happen now. He probably would have started stalking the Kroger every afternoon eventually but now knowing where she lives,  _ maybe _ lives, he knows the shop, knows there’s a shitty apartment over it, it has him losing his mind.

 

He wants to give her the money. Maybe he could find a way to quietly support her, get enough info to start an account in her name so she can go to a good college far away from him. 

 

Maybe she’s almost graduating, maybe she’s actually eighteen, or just about, and she just looks a little young from not eating vegetables or being well loved.

 

He feels horrible immediately, he shouldn’t be thinking like that. 

 

He tells himself he won’t go to Plutt’s Pawn Shop for a full two days. He never believes it for a second, but he still feels like the biggest creep in the world when he shows up there on Sunday. 

 

He’s not sure what he wants. To make sure she’s okay, that Plutt isn’t—hurting her in some way. He can feel his blood boiling at the idea. 

 

A little bell dings over the door when he opens it. The space is cramped and overfilled with junk, stacked from floor to ceiling. He hears a voice, Rey’s voice, from the back. 

 

“I’ll be right up!” 

 

He almost leaves,  _ tries _ to leave is more accurate, but he just can’t. Not when he knows she’s here. 

 

So he just stands there like an idiot until she comes out. 

 

She’s in jean shorts and an oversized red t-shirt with some Japanese logo on it. She looks kind of dirty and—definitely not eighteen. 

 

“Oh!” she says and her eyes light up. “It’s you.” 

 

“Yep,” Ben says, like an idiot. 

 

“Well, can I help you find anything?” 

 

Ben swallows, he’s not even sure what to say. 

 

“Is Plutt here?” 

 

Rey’s eyes narrow and she looks a little sad as she shakes her head. 

 

“Sorry, just me.”

 

“You run this store alone?” 

 

“On weekends, yeah, so he can go out with his friends.” 

 

Ben hates it. She should be with  _ her _ friends, having fun. She’s just a kid. 

 

“So uh, did you need something?”

 

Ben blinks down at her. He didn’t think this through, just says the first thing that comes to mind.

 

“It’s a long shot but I was hoping you had a compression chamber for a radiator for a 1967 Chevy Impala.” 

 

He’s sure she will shrug or pretend to look around, but instead her eyes light up. 

 

“Do you have a 67’ Impala? That’s such a sweet car. I don’t have a compression chamber for that year but I found a '71 crashed out in the dump and got some amazing parts.” 

 

Ben can’t even speak, he just stares at her. 

 

“I don’t have a car to rebuild but I’ve made some other stuff,” she tells him proudly. He’s very proud of her, he wants to hold her and tell her she’s amazing. 

 

“That’s impressive.”

 

She shrugs but she looks pleased at his words. 

 

“Are you—are you hungry? Do you want me to like, order you a pizza? As—as a thank you. You brought my wallet back with everything in it.”

 

“Of course,” Rey says a little quick. “I’m not a thief.” 

 

“I know,” Ben says. “Just wanted to say thanks.” 

 

Rey looks at him, squinting one eye. Then she shrugs and says, “I like cheese and olives.” 

 

“Cheese and olives it is.” 

 

They make small talk until the pizza arrives and then little Rey eats four whole slices before he finishes two. 

 

“Do you—do you get enough to eat here?” 

 

Rey looks around, prickling.

 

“I… I get by just fine. Plutt isn't so bad.” 

 

Ben looks at her with a face that clearly states he disagrees. 

 

“I’ve lived in worse places,” Rey tells him. 

 

It breaks his heart. 

 

“How old are you?” 

 

Rey bites her lip, toes some dust on the floor with her sneaker. 

 

“I’ll be sixteen in a few months.” 

 

Fifteen. She’s fifteen years old. Ben exhales slowly. 

 

“Listen,”  _ fifteen, shes fucking fifteen, “ _ I’m going to give you my number. I know you don’t really know me, but if something happens—if you’re hungry or scared or something. You know, I owe you. For the wallet.” 

 

He can see her deliberating, he’s pretty sure she’s going to call him a creep and tell him to fuck off. 

 

But she doesn’t, she shrugs with a little smile and says, “Thanks, Kylo.” 

 

Ben nods, content for now to just eat pizza with Rey and hope that she will turn to him in future if she needs anything, help or food or money or… just a friend. 

 

_ Fifteen years old.  _

 

He is so totally screwed. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What up folks, Like A Dove here. Violethoure666 have been buds for some time, so it seems only natural that we finally collaborate on a fic. We hope y'all enjoy!
> 
> Like A Dove has [twitter](https://twitter.com/LikeADove_).  
> Violethoure666 has [twitter](https://twitter.com/Violethoure666).
> 
> If you liked let us know?


	2. the shoes

“Can you pass the Sour Patch Kids?”

 

Rey looks up from where’s she’s hunched over the glass surface of the gun display case, biology homework spread out before her. She shoves the large bag of sour gummies in Finn’s direction, and he stretches his arm from where he’s lounging in a shabby armchair to grab a handful. 

 

Her boyfriend pops the candy into his mouth, chewing happily before sighing in contentment. 

 

This is how Rey and Finn usually spend their Saturdays. Plutt spends almost the entirely of the weekend out drinking with his buddies, usually leaving Friday evening and not reappearing until after the shop is closed at 8pm on Sunday. Finn takes advantage of his absence by hanging around the shop to spend time with Rey. 

 

Someone  _ else _ has also taken to hanging around the shop on weekends when Plutt isn’t here. 

 

But Rey hasn’t mentioned him to her boyfriend just yet. She and Finn have known each other since they were four, been best friends since they were seven, and have been dating since they were thirteen. They simply don’t  _ have _ secrets. And yet Rey cannot bring herself to tell Finn about her new weird Kroger friend she met a month ago. 

 

She just... _ can’t _ . 

 

“Done,” she announces, shutting her biology textbook and collecting her scattered notes into an organized pile. She straightens them and slides them in Finn’s direction as she did the candy. 

 

He beams sleepily up at her, having been sitting in the sun for the past hour. “Thanks,” he says, getting to his feet and stretching his arms over his legs with a hum. His shirt rides up, giving Rey just a peak of his lower abdomen. Last month she would have felt titillated at this flash of her boyfriend’s dark, bare skin. Would have felt flushed and hot at the neck. 

 

But that’s all been sort of ruined in the wake of accidentally seeing Kylo without a shirt when she’d returned his wallet. 

 

Rey definitely does  _ not _ think about it everyday. She and Kylo are friends, which is odd enough in itself. She can’t lust after him. He’s old enough to have a credit score.  _ Gross _ . 

 

Deep in her thoughts, she’s still staring at the strip of bare Finn stomach when he lets his shirt fall back down with a smirk. “See something you like?” he asks, sticking out his skinny chest with a puff of pride. 

 

Rey shakes herself, clears her throat, and smiles at him. “Always.”

 

She straightens and moves around the display case, intent on heading to the tiny bathroom and splashing some cool water on her face and neck. 

 

“Oh, hey, where did you get those?”

 

Rey pauses mid-step, looking over at Finn and following his gaze with confusion. Her confusion is swept away, anxiety quickly taking its place, when she realizes he’s talking about her new shoes. 

 

Last Sunday she’d been sticking price stickers on new merchandise when Kylo, having been staring at her old, beat up, and hole littered sneakers unbeknownst to Rey, asked for her shoe size. He’d had to coax it out of her. She knew exactly why he’d asked. 

 

He’d come back the next day with a box tucked under his elbow. 

 

The shoes weren’t an expensive name brand. Kylo already knew Rey well enough to know she wouldn’t have accepted those. They were just a nice pair of lace up tennis shoes that had a floral pattern on them. 

 

They were practical, but pretty. She loved them immediately. 

 

Rey had quickly shucked off her old shoes in order to put her new ones on, forgetting for a second to rein in her eagerness. But Kylo caught it anyway, and he’d stepped up closer to her while she’d been bent down tying up the black laces. 

 

“Do you like them?” he’d asked her softly. 

 

“They’re great!” She’d answered earnestly, looking up at him with a pleased smile. Kylo gazed down at her like...like she’d done something really amazing for him, just then. 

 

He’d proceeded to purchase some old coins, even though Rey suspected he didn’t collect them. 

 

But she can’t tell Finn any of this. She doesn’t know  _ how _ to tell Finn any of this. At least not yet. 

 

So she lies to him for the first time. 

 

“Found them in a box a customer left.” 

 

Ugh. It isn’t even a  _ good _ lie. She turns her head and winces at how unsteady her voice sounds. 

 

And yet, her loving, trusting boyfriend doesn’t pick up on her odd tone. He has no reason to, she realizes with a jolt. The guilt at that sets in quick and heavy in the bottom of her tummy. 

 

He compliments the shoes, says they look good on her, before giving her a peck on the cheek and grabbing her biology notes. He promises to have his history notes for her tomorrow before heading out the door to begin his ten minute walk home. 

 

Rey closes the shop, eats a peanut butter and banana sandwich with the meager groceries that are left in the kitchen, and makes sure everything is set in place for school the next morning. 

 

She puts her new shoes on the wobbly bedside table so that she can look at them as she falls asleep. 

 

**

 

Ben makes rules. 

 

Firstly, he is only allowed to go see Rey on Sundays. 

 

The dusty pawn shop becomes his church and he goes weekly to worship.

 

That’s it. Anything else would be too creepy. 

 

Secondly, he doesn’t ask overly personal questions. No,  _ where do you go to school  _ or  _ do you have a boyfriend  _ or  _ are you planning on going to college far as fuck away from this shit place.  _

 

He doesn’t want to be some older creep trying to pry details out of a  teenager. He just goes for a few hours to get his fill and then he suffers quietly for the rest of the week, a clock in his head counting down and his body screaming. 

 

It hurts, being away from her. He didn’t know that about imprinting, has never seen someone away from their mate. 

 

_ His mate.  _

 

Third rule, no thinking about mate stuff. No thinking about how Rey is literally perfect for him, about how she was made by the gods to fit him. Thinking about that only leads to thinking about… other things. Things he absolutely doesn't even allow himself to think. 

 

He’s decided that for as long as Rey seems to enjoy his company he will continue to come by the shop. 

 

And she does enjoy his company. He knows the bond has an effect on her too, but it’s muted because she’s a human. She doesn’t feel it the same way Ben does. If she were a wolf, she would share his thoughts, his feelings, they would exist inside one another. 

 

But Rey is human, and so instead she feels what he can only assume is a calm and happy feeling in his presence. He doesn’t know how deep it goes. Wolves imprinting on humans is exceedingly rare. He didn’t even know it was a thing until Rey, and then he has done as much quiet, inconspicuous research as he could. 

 

For all he knows he could be a drug to her, something she gets high off of on weekends. 

 

It makes him worry that he’s somehow tricked her, forced her with magic to want to be around him. 

 

There’s no other reason she would tolerate him. 

 

_ Except that maybe, just maybe, you were made for her too.  _

 

He worries about that a lot. 

 

It’s why the final rule is this: if Rey asks him to stop, he will stop. 

 

It’s raining outside when he get to Plutt’s place, and he has to stomp his heavy boots on the threshold to dry them a little. He always feels oversized in the pawn shop, and it seems worse when he’s wet. 

 

“Kylo?” 

 

He hears Rey’s voice from the back. 

 

“Yep, it’s me, just trying too—”

 

He manages to get his coat and his hoodie off, hanging them over a metal chair to dry. He’s in just a dark long sleeve v-neck and dark jeans. His hair is soaked. 

 

“I hope you like Chinese, I brought a shit ton.” 

 

He looks up and finds Rey staring at him. She blushes and her eyes dart away. 

 

Ben files that information away.

 

Rey’s interest in him has always been friendly or food based. He’s never seen her  _ blushing _ before. 

 

“Sorry I— I’m soaked. It’s pouring.”

 

“Oh, no it’s fine,” Rey says, turning away from him and toward the food. “This smells amazing.” 

 

Rey tears into the bag from the side, pulling things out. Her enthusiasm for food is both adorable and heartbreaking for Ben, who worries constantly about whether or not she’s getting enough to eat. 

 

She goes for orange chicken first, taking the entire container with her as she hops onto the counter and sits criss-cross. 

 

“This is  _ so _ good.” 

 

“I’m glad you like it, although I’m hard pressed to find a food you don’t like.”

 

Rey thinks about it, tilting her head up. 

 

“Yeah, no. Never met a calorie I didn’t like.”

 

The same sad pang goes through Ben’s chest. 

 

She looks precious like this, a massive amount of greasy food balanced on one of her knees. Her hair is up in a ponytail today, not her usual messy bun, and she even has mascara on. 

 

_ Maybe she dressed up for you?  _

 

Ben shakes his head, pushing thoughts away. They bubble up from the bottom of his heart, already heavy and begging to be addressed. 

 

“So how was school, do anything fun?” 

 

Rey shrugs. 

 

“Not really, but my boyfriend got tickets to go to the movies on Friday so we saw the new one with James Franco. It was okay.” 

 

Ben’s world narrows and freezes. 

 

“You have a boyfriend?” 

 

Rey blushes again. Twice in one day. She seems to realize too late what she said. 

 

“Um, yeah. His name is Finn.” 

 

“Is this a new thing?” 

 

Ben is trying to sound calm and causal but he knows he doesn’t. He’s going to scare her. He has to be careful. 

 

“No, Finn and I have actually been dating for like, two years now.” 

 

Ben closes his eyes and nods. 

 

“Well… he’s… a good guy?” 

 

“Oh yeah!” Rey leans forward and she looks so sincere. “He’s my oldest friend. He’s— he’s always there for me.” 

 

Ben’s blood runs cold. He doesn’t know enough about the bond in humans. Maybe she feels even less than he thought.

 

That’s good. That  _ should be _ a good thing. 

 

“Good,” Ben says. His voice is calm, encouraging even. Good. That’s good. This is all good. “Just you know… as long as you’re… being safe.” 

 

Rey’s face scrunches up. 

 

“He’s like, the nicest guy. He wouldn’t hurt me or anything. Honestly I’m the scary one.” 

 

“No, I mean  _ safe _ safe. You know. Using— protection.” 

 

Ben feels an overwhelming sense of  _ wrong _ at the idea of someone else taking his mate— his Rey— he fights that down, tries to look every part the concerned adult, the older brother, the cool uncle. Fine with teenage sex as long as it’s safe and consensual.

 

He thinks it’s working, can’t be sure. It’s so flimsy. 

 

“Oh!” Rey blushes for the third time in one afternoon. She stuffs her mouth with chicken. 

 

“You don’t have to— tell me anything, honestly just. You know. Be safe. That’s all.” 

 

Rey chews slowly, swallows.

 

“I— I mean thanks for the concern but we— it’s not like that. I guess— just. Don’t worry about it.” 

 

“It’s none of my business,” Ben says honestly. “I’m sorry for prying.”

 

“No, it’s okay I— I actually don’t mind. It’s nice to know someone is concerned for me. It seems like most of my social workers have all been waiting for me to turn into some teen pregnancy statistic but I— I’m not like that.” 

 

“I trust you,” Ben says. 

 

Rey looks away, biting her lip, but doesn’t say anything more. 

 

They eat Chinese food and listen to the rain and then Ben helps Rey with her English homework and watches her do math problems that look like rocket science. 

 

She’s great at math. 

 

He smiles and cracks little jokes and manages to seem relatively unaffected but something inside of his heart is broken, and the fact that he’s jealous of some fifteen year old punk ass kid just because he gets to—

 

But Ben doesn’t think about those sort of things. Ever. No matter what. 

 

Even if it hurts.

 

He just starts the clock over Sunday night, counting down until he can see her again and dull the ache in his bones.  

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all, Violet here. We are so blown away by the response we got to this! Thank you!! To answer a few questions that popped up, I am writing Ben's POV and Dove is writing Rey's, but we are talking constantly and working in a gdoc together. It's a very collaborative piece! We think the chapter count rests somewhere between 12 and 15 chapters; I will say it's subject to change. If you like it please let us know! Your enthusiasm is so inspiring! <3


	3. the dvd's

Ben steps out of the shower and wraps a towel around his waist. He likes his showers cold, usually. He runs so damn hot, feverish all the time. It helps to cool off, especially on Sunday mornings. 

 

He looks at himself in the mirror and frowns. He started shaving his face again after he met Rey, some attempt to look like he wasn’t literally bursting with testosterone.

 

He does look younger, shit Ben is  _ young _ , technically. He is one of the younger wolves in the pack at twenty-five. Still treated as a kid by Snoke even though he is more powerful than most of the older pack members. 

 

Ben sighs. He keeps his hair just long enough to cover his ears and he ruffled it strategically to cover them. They always turn bright red. 

 

He dresses in a plain green Henley and a pair of dark jeans and converse. 

 

He grabs a bag off the counter before he leaves and picks up Philly cheesesteak sandwiches on the way. 

 

He is buzzing with anticipation, hyper aware of the itch under his skin he knows he is close to cooling. 

 

He pushes his way into Plutt’s pawn shop. 

 

“Hope you’re hungry,” he calls out. 

 

He looks up and sees not only Rey but another human as well. A boy, dark skinned and young. Sitting right next to Rey.

 

_ The boyfriend. Finn.  _

 

“Oh,” Ben says, stopping in his tracks. 

 

“Hey man, can we help you?” 

 

“It’s okay, Finn. Kylo is a friend of mine.” 

 

“A friend. Who you’ve never mentioned.” The boyfriend already sounds suspicious. “And who is like…what, thirty?” 

 

Ben wants to correct him but god that would just make it worse because twenty-five is not much better than thirty. 

 

Not when the girl is fifteen. 

 

“Yeah I just— I found Kylo’s wallet in Kroger and returned it.” Rey shrugs. She's trying too hard to sound casual. 

 

Ben realizes that if she had proper parents, he wouldn’t be allowed within a hundred feet of her. He feels sick. 

 

“You… just went to some strange man's house?” Finn sounds appalled.

 

“For what it’s worth, I said the same thing,” Ben adds.

 

“That’s true, Finn. Kylo was actually mad I went alone, but then he got me pizza as a thank you and you know— we just talk. And have lunch sometimes on Sundays.” 

 

“So that’s why you’ve been busy all month.”  Finn looks pissed, and Ben is pissed also because so far Finn has really good points and he hates that. He looks like the biggest creep in the world right now. 

 

_ She doesn't even know your real name. _

 

“Listen,” Ben puts his hands up. “I just— saw a kid who reminded me of me.” It’s different but not. While Ben was never dirty or hungry as a kid, after he had been bitten by Snoke… well he learned about hunger. “I just wanted to help. A charity project.” 

 

Rey’s face flashes with hurt and he can see her blinking fast. 

 

“Charity?” she whispers. 

 

“I—“ Ben is stuck. He can’t give her more than this. He turns to Finn instead. “I know you don’t know me, so it doesn’t matter what I say but— she might not have told you about  _ me _ but she told me about  _ you _ . How you keep each other safe. I just didn’t want to see another kid get lost like I… like I did once.” 

 

Finn is bristling, but holding. 

 

“I hope so man, because it’s really fucking weird otherwise.” 

 

“Could it really not just be that we’re friends?”

 

This comes from Rey, who looks hurt and confused. 

 

“Of course we’re friends, Rey. There’s a lot of kids out there but you— you’re special—” 

 

“I think you should go.” 

 

Finn is right. Ben should go. He can come back later— he can explain how he was wrong and how this is inappropriate and that he’s sorry and how he will leave her alone. 

 

_ It’s really fucking weird.  _

 

Everything in Ben’s body is telling him that Finn is a threat, to be destroyed and beaten and dragged off so that he never touches Rey again. 

 

Ben’s brain knows that logically Finn is right. There is nothing okay about this. 

 

Ben’s heart breaks. 

 

“There’s two sandwiches,” he says softly. “You guys keep them. Have a good day, Rey.” 

 

He drops the bag of food on the counter and leaves before she can say anything. 

 

He has another bag in his hands, full of DVDs he wanted to show Rey, maybe even invite her to watch with him. 

 

He’s such a fucking idiot. 

 

**

 

_ A charity project. _

 

Rey has spent the past week hopelessly obsessing over that one comment. She hadn’t--she’d thought--

 

She’d thought that she and Kylo had been friends. Real friends. 

 

She hadn’t realized he’d only started hanging around because he felt sorry for her. This fact has hung heavily over Rey’s head all week, and now that it’s Sunday again she feels nearly sick with anticipation.

 

Rey really,  _ really _ wants Kylo to come by the shop today. She assures herself it’s so that she can tell him to fuck off, that she doesn’t need his friendship or his  _ charity _ anyway.

 

But when the door jingles, indicating that someone is coming inside, the pure relief that Rey feels when she sees that it’s Kylo is nearly incapacitating.

 

Weird, she didn’t notice his car pulling up.

 

She straightens immediately, suddenly alert, all pretense of giving him a piece of her mind vanishing. His steps slow a little when his eyes land on her. Rey hadn’t given much credence to how interesting brown eyes could be until she’d met Kylo.

 

“We got some new coins in on Wednesday.” She blurts out the first thing that pops in her head, jerking her thumb over her shoulder. “They’re still in the back, though. I can get them for…” She trails off at the sad, soft look on Kylo’s face.

 

Rey’s heart sinks.

 

She shifts her weight from one foot to the other, something she’s always done when she’s beginning to feel anxious. Dread sinks into her bones, cold and heavy and suffocating.

 

Kylo opens and closes his mouth several times, as if he’s not sure what to say first. His gaze never leaves Rey’s face.

 

“I’m here because I didn’t want to just stop showing up.”

 

“Kylo--”

 

“Rey,” he interrupts her smoothly, “your boyfriend is right.” He gestures between them. “This...I…” He swallows, throat bobbing. “I don’t think I should come to the shop anymore.”

 

Someone has dumped an entire bucket of ice water over Rey’s head, she’s sure of it.

 

“But--” She scrambles to find her words. “I  _ don’t _ think Finn was right.” She can feel her bottom lip begin to tremble, feel her eyes begin to burn with panicky tears. “I like spending time with you. I like that you’re my friend. I don’t give a shit what anyone thinks of that, even Finn.”

 

Kylo is pressing his lips together.

 

“Even if I  _ am _ just a charity project to you,” Rey adds, sounding very small.

 

“Rey,” he begins, voice breaking. He’s shaking all over, she realizes. “Of course you’re not--” He’s beginning to shake so badly that he can’t quite get his words out. 

 

Compelled to soothe him by something she frankly doesn’t understand, Rey steps forward and reaches out to him. She wants to calm him, rest her hand on his shoulder, assure him that it’s okay, everything’s going to be okay.

 

She also wants to get down on her hands and knees and beg him not to stop coming to see her.

 

Rey takes another step forward. “Kylo--”

 

He scrambles away from her, gasping. “I’m so sorry, Rey,” he manages to choke out before turning around and not running but  _ sprinting  _ out of the store. He turns sharply and disappears around the back of the building, immediately removing himself from her line of sight.

 

Rey slowly lets her hand fall back to her side.

 

With a straight, emotionless face, Rey walks calmly to the front door and locks it, flipping the sign so that it reads CLOSED. They’re technically supposed to be open for another two hours, but…

 

Something has just been taken from her. Rey knows it, can feel it. She cannot make sense of it, cannot quite fathom why everything that’s happened in the last few minutes feels so fucking  _ wrong _ . 

 

But it does.

 

So she closes the damn shop early, wanders to the upstairs apartment with sure steps. She walks right past the kitchen. For the first time in her life she’ll voluntarily miss dinner.

 

Her composed expression remains on her face until she’s safely in her closet of a bedroom, door shut firmly behind her.

 

Then she sits on the corner of her bed, buries her face in her hands, and sobs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *slow chant* angst, angst, angst, angst--
> 
> I mean, what did you expect from us, really? Now, wonder how long it'll take for these two to reunite...
> 
> Like A Dove has [twitter](https://twitter.com/LikeADove_).  
> Violethoure666 has [twitter](https://twitter.com/Violethoure666).
> 
> If you liked let us know?


	4. the cherry coke

They’ve literally just parked, and yet Rey is already unimpressed with this place.

 

Paige had spent the entire car ride over here amping this bar up, saying that they never check ID’s and that there are always cute guys around. Rey, who has been single for all of a month, is vastly uninterested in boys at the moment.

 

She’s just trying to survive being sixteen.

 

Paige leads them inside the bar, called  _ The Bone _ . Whiny country music assaults Rey’s ears as soon as they step inside and she winces, rubbing her elbow and huddling in a little closer to Rose than is necessary. Paige, their de facto leader, looks around briefly before confidently walking up to the bar. Rey and Rose shuffle behind her awkwardly, choosing stools and sliding onto them while trying not to look too egregiously out of place.

 

Rey feels  _ absurd _ .

 

The grizzly old bartender ignores them for a solid ten minutes, openly waiting on other customers first. Rey suspects it’s because he doesn’t want to waste his time serving three too-innocent looking teenage girls. Which they technically are, but…

 

The sooner they can have the experience of getting a drink, the sooner they can all get the hell out of here. They can go back to Paige and Rose’s house and eat popcorn and watch something on Netflix, and Rey can text Finn to stop worrying and that they made it back perfectly fine.

 

Instead Rey watches the clock, which hangs next to an old neon Bud Light sign. Another few minutes crawl by until the bartender finally walk up to them.

 

He doesn’t even ask them what they’d like to order, just raises a brushy gray eyebrow at them.

 

Paige orders a beer, Rose timidly asks for a pina colada and Rey…

 

As soon as the man turns that ugly, all knowing gray eyebrow on Rey her brain short circuits. “I-I’ll have a cherry coke, please.”

 

The old man snorts in sheer amusement before lumbering off to make their drinks.

 

“Really, Rey?” Paige has her hands folded up on the bartop. “A cherry coke?”

 

“He’ll make it with grenadine,” Rey grumbles, feeling her cheeks begin to flush. “I like it.”

 

Paige shakes her head, and as soon as the bartender returns with their drinks she grabs her beer and takes a long, hearty pull. Then she smiles brightly at a guy in the corner by one of the pool tables, waving at him briefly before turning back to her sister and Rey.

 

“That’s the guy I was telling you two about,” she explains, eyes never leaving the guy in question. “I’m going to hang out with him for a bit. I’ll be back later.” And with that she marches off, leaving Rose and Rey still sitting uncomfortably on their stools.

 

Rose takes a sip of her pina colada and splutters before covering her mouth. Her watering eyes give her away, however.

“ _ Oh _ ,” she groans underneath her breath. “That’s so  _ gross _ .”

 

Rey takes a tentative drink of her cherry coke and sighs with relief when it tastes like how a cherry coke should. She’s suddenly grateful she chickened out and didn’t order any alcohol. From the way Rose is eyeing her nearly full glass of pina colada with distaste, Rey feels like she’s not really missing out on much.

 

The bar continues to fill up with the burliest looking men that Rey has ever seen. The terrible country music drones on, and the place starts to become smoky when a few of the older men by the dart board light up cigarettes.

 

“Ew!” Rose exclaims, glaring at them even though there’s no way they heard her over the music and loud chatter. “Don’t they know that’s illegal?” She turns in her stool, giving Rey an appalled look.

 

“You know,” Rey can’t help the smile that tugs at her mouth. “I don’t really think they care.”

 

Rose grumbles something underneath her breath before excusing herself to the bathroom, leaving Rey alone at the bartop.

 

She finishes her cherry coke and pushes the empty glass away from her, sighing and propping her chin up with her hand. Paige is still hanging with that guy by the pool table, giggling and letting him show her how to use the pool stick. His hands linger on her waist and Rey bites at her bottom lip.

 

She wonders what it would feel like, to have a man touch her like that.

 

Finn had touched her waist, sure. And they’d kissed and given each other hickies, and one time during a particularly frenzied make out session on Finn’s basement couch he’d finished in his pants. That is still a particular source of pride for Rey.

 

But they’d never gone further, and after Rey had turned sixteen four months ago they both had come to the mutual conclusion that they didn’t want to. Not like,  _ ever _ , of course. Just not with each other.

 

It had been all too easy to slip back into their friendship. Finn felt like her sibling more now than ever before. He even has a crush on Rose, which was strange to Rey at first, but now she quite likes the idea of them together.

 

Rey is still mulling over her own thoughts when someone slips into the recently vacated stool beside her. She glances up, assuming it’s Rose returning from the bathroom, only to find a late-twenties looking redneck leering down at her instead.

 

He’s broad and big, just like all the other smelly men in this hole-in-the-wall bar.

 

“School bus drop you off at the wrong stop, girly?” He swivels in the stool to face her, dirty blonde hair falling over his shoulders. His eyes swoop up and down her body shamelessly, and Rey feels her upper lip curve in disgust.

 

“You’re in my friend’s seat,” she says, hand curving around her cherry coke glass. There’s only ice in it now, but having something she can potentially throw in this guy’s face makes her feel better.

 

He touches her elbow. “Well, I’m sure she won’t mind me keeping it warm for her.”

 

“I mind. Please go away.” She pointedly looks in a different direction than this gross dude, but he doesn’t take the hint. He grabs at her stool, hand brushing her ass in the process, and turns it forcefully so that Rey is facing him. The smile on his face is relaxed and easy, but there’s a predatory glint in his gaze that makes Rey’s skin crawl.

 

She immediately makes to slip off the stool, but the man puts a firm hand on her shoulder to try to keep her from standing. “Now, don’t be like that--”

 

Left hand still clutching the glass, she tosses the ice in his face. She gets her feet on the ground and stumbles a few steps away from him, but there are so many people in this bar that she’s being inadvertently corralled back toward him.

 

He shouts, swearing loudly, deterred for only a moment before he rounds on Rey. “You fucking bitch--”

 

And then someone punches him soundly in the face. Rey hears bone break and the man howls in pain, falling to the ground and grabbing at his bleeding nose.

 

Rey looks up, determined to shake the hand of the guy who assaulted this asshole for her, and comes face to face with Kylo.

 

**

 

Kylo thinks he is imagining things at first. The last six months have been a blur of pins and needles, a constant ache in his bones. He has trouble eating, sleeping, doing anything really. 

 

So when the pain suddenly ceases he thinks he’s losing it. He has to be, because no way in hell is Rey at The Bone. 

 

The Bone is a wolf bar, they don’t card because as long as you’re a wolf, you can drink. Ben has been drinking here since he turned at fourteen. 

 

Sometimes, teenage girls find out about this place. 

 

Sometimes, they’re allowed to stay. 

 

If one of the wolves claims one, no one stands in the way. 

 

Ben can see Sulpher, a sleazy nineteen year old wolf who was turned a year ago sidling up to a pretty Asian girl who can’t possibly be eighteen yet. 

 

He can smell another human somewhere, the bathroom? 

 

And Rey. Rey for real. And she just threw her drink in Bishop’s face. 

 

_ His Rey. His mate.  _

 

His  _ mate _ who someone else is trying to claim. 

 

He doesn’t think, just turns and punches Bishop square in the face. 

 

Bones crunch under his hands and he can feel Rey’s elation coursing through him and the blood leaving his brain to rush through his body. 

 

She turns to him already smiling, and her face falls. He’s sure that he is the last person she is expecting to see here, anywhere. He’s disappeared as far as she is concerned.

 

He wants to comfort her, to take her into his arms. He wants to rip Bishop apart. 

 

He can’t do either thing. 

 

“She’s just a fucking kid,” he spits at Bishop, and then he rounds on Rey. “You. You’re coming with me and we’re getting the fuck out of here.” 

 

Rey opens her mouth but no sound comes out, she’s just sort of staring at him and Ben feels  _ so good  _ just being near her he almost laughs. 

 

“My— my friends—“

 

“Are also leaving. Get them. Now.” 

 

Rey doesn’t argue, she’s clearly shaken. She runs to the girl with Sulpher who disappears into the bathroom and comes back a minute later with another, similar looking girl. A sister, surely. 

 

Rey is whispering to them. The older one looks put out, but the girls say something and she shrugs. 

 

“What the fuck, Kylo,” Bishop says, finally facing Ben. “You could have just told me you wanted to fuck her.” 

 

“Shut the fuck up or I hit you again,” he snaps. Bishop doesn’t argue. Kylo is bigger and stronger and closer to Snoke. 

 

The girls approach him nervously, and the one closest to Rey whispers something about this being a very bad idea but Rey shushes her.

 

“We’re ready,” Rey says. Her voice is like morphine, it cools a fire inside of him. 

 

“Come on,” he says, as softly as he can. “Sorry about all the punching. That guy’s a sick fuck, so is Sulpher, by the way.” He says the last to the oldest girl and she blushes. He leads the kids to his Jeep and opens the passenger side door for Rey. He needs her next to him, just for a little bit.

 

“Thanks,” she says. “Rose, Paige, you guys okay back there?” 

 

“Whatever,” the older girl says. 

 

“I’m okay,” the younger one says, “sorry for making you leave your bar, uh— Kylo.” 

 

Ben looks over at Rey and raises an eyebrow. 

 

“Been talking about me?” 

Rey blushes and shakes her head, looking away from him. 

 

“Where do you girls live?” 

 

Rey whispers an address to him; it’s a nice neighborhood, nothing like where Rey lives. 

 

Ten minutes of silence later and he pulls up to a big White House.

 

The younger girl says, “You’re coming too, right Rey?” 

 

Rey looks at Ben, and his face softens. 

 

“I’ll take you home, if you want. Or you can stay.” 

 

“You can take me home,” Rey says instantly. 

 

Her friend looks at her with wide eyes, and Ben says, “I’ll get her home safe,” in a way that can’t be argued with. 

 

Rose and Paige wave and disappear into their house.

 

It’s just Rey and Ben now. It’s too quiet when he pulls out of the driveway, so Ben says, “I’m sorry about— the hitting.” 

 

“Are you kidding me?” Rey exclaims. “That was amazing. That guy was such a creep. Why do you even hang out at that place?”

 

“Family run,” Ben says. “Extended family— I— I don’t talk to my real family.” 

 

“Why?”

 

“Long list of reasons, kid, but the bottom line is remembering it’s okay to walk away from people who don’t know what’s best for you. From people who hurt you. It’s okay to let them go.” 

 

Rey shifts in her seat. It’s awkward and they both speak at the same time to fill the silence. 

 

“I can drop you off at Plutt’s—“

 

“I missed you—“ 

 

Rey looks as surprised by her confession as Ben is. 

 

“Oh,” he says softly. The car is warm and it all smells like Rey and he doesn’t hurt for the first time in so long and— “I missed you too, kiddo. A lot.” 

 

Rey closes her eyes and inhales deeply and Ben knows that she  _ does _ feel it. This bond.

 

“I just felt like maybe, things were better when you were around,” she says, playing with a loose thread on her sleeve. “I know people might not get it but I— I know you would never— be a weirdo, or whatever. So can we just...” her voice breaks a little when she speaks. 

 

Ben feels like a creep, but he also knows this hurts Rey. He can see how their bond has been an ache for her, not as much as he feels, but enough that he can’t justify not hurting her anymore. 

 

“I could— I could come by tomorrow. If you want.” 

 

“Yes.” 

 

“Okay,” he says, pulling into Plutt’s driveway. “You uh— you sure you’re okay here? I can take you back to the girls if you want.” 

 

“I’m used to it,” Rey says with a smile. That doesn’t make him feel better. He wants to rip apart the world to keep her safe. But he has to trust her too. 

 

“Okay.” He swallows. “I’ll see you tomorrow?” 

 

“Bring tacos!” Rey calls as she jumps out of his car, smiling wide. Ben watches her disappear inside with a pang of sadness. 

 

_ She should be here with you. You can keep her safe. _

 

He forces down his discomfort. 

 

The next day he brings her more tacos than even she can eat. 

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short author’s note today as violethoure666 is currently hanging out with a toddler and I definitely edited and am posting this chapter while my office mates are doing god knows what in the warehouse I work at so...
> 
> We hope you enjoyed! Couldn’t keep these two separated for too long. Now, wonder how long Ben can keep his big secret under wraps...
> 
> If you liked let us know?


	5. the mud

Rey always wakes up when the wolves howl at night.

 

It’s been the one constant throughout her life, the howling. It used to scare her when she was younger; she remembers being four and holding tight to the only stuffed animal she owned, listening to their song with wide, petrified eyes. Now, at sixteen, she lets the howls lull her back to sleep like a lullaby.

 

But she’s never heard a howl come from this close to Plutt’s before. The  _ loudness _ of it has Rey sitting upright in bed with a sharp intake of breath.

 

Suddenly wide awake, she climbs out of her bed and stumbles over to the creaky old window, pushing it open and peering outside.

 

There’s nothing.

 

Perhaps she just dreamed it. Perhaps she had only  _ wanted _ to hear the howl come from so nearby. 

 

She’s never seen a wolf, despite how many years she’s laid awake listening to them sing. And half the folks that live in this deadbeat town look at her like she’s nuts whenever she brings them up.

 

“What wolves?” they say. “I’ve never heard anything.”

 

Always accompanied by: “Maybe you dream them up.”

 

The night air is crisp and cool on her face and, resigned, Rey is about to pull away and crawl back to bed when she sees it.

 

A shadow of a shadow flitting around the edges of the woods.

 

Before she can really stop and give any real consideration to what she’s doing, Rey turns and bolts out of her tiny room, taking the stairs two at a time and nearly sprinting through the shop to reach the back door. She doesn’t bother with being quiet, Plutt’s nightcaps always have him sleeping like a bear.

 

She freezes when she reaches the back door, hand hovering over the knob before tentatively gripping and turning it. The moon surprises her with how bright it is; nearly everything in the muddy backyard is illuminated.

 

Rey’s breath catches in her throat.

 

Just there, about thirty or so feet away, is a massive wolf. She’s not close enough to be able to give an accurate estimation of how tall he’d be at the shoulder, but she can see enough to know that he’s fucking  _ large _ .

 

Much larger than any normal wolf would be.

 

The wolf froze at the exact moment she laid eyes on him, and Rey has the absurd notion that he was not expecting her to actually come outside.

 

She takes a few steps away from the back door and into the yard, mud squishing up between her toes. And then, because Rey is clearly not thinking rationally, she makes two smooching noises with her mouth.

 

As if to call the giant wolf over to her.

 

In the morning Rey will absolutely wonder why in the  _ hell _ she thought this was a good idea, but right now it makes sense. Right now it just seems like the most sensible thing to do.

 

The wolf remains utterly still, eyes pinned to her. His fur looks soft. Rey isn’t a wolf expert, but his body language seems odd. Most wolves would have taken off already. Most wolves would have never wandered this close to a human residence in the first place unless they were starving.

 

And this wolf definitely doesn’t look like he’s starving. He looks  _ mighty _ .

 

She pauses in her steps, hunches down a little to make herself seem a little smaller and holds her hand out as if she has something to offer him.

 

He takes a hesitant step toward her and Rey’s heart rate skyrockets in her chest.

 

She’s not sure what she’ll do if he actually does come to her. She takes another step forward, trying so hard not to let on to how loud her heart sounds in her ears. The last thing she wants to do is scare him away.

 

As if in a trance the wolf takes a step toward Rey as well, as if to meet her in the middle of the yard. But then it’s like he’s been hit by lightning, or come to his senses, because he turns around and lopes deep into the woods on graceful, silent paws.

 

Rey is awake for the rest of the night.

 

**

 

Ben decides that if he is going to commit to hanging around Rey, the least he can do is take her to do  _ something _ . It seems like she only ever goes to school or work. 

 

So they go hiking. 

 

The woods are Ben’s favorite place, and he makes sure to keep them on well traveled trails, far from the wolves’ territory. 

 

It’s bright but not hot, it rarely is in this neck of the world. The trees are massive, moss covered giants that blot out huge chunks of blue sky. 

 

It feels good to be outside as a human, usually Ben shifts once he’s in the woods. He’s missed this. 

 

He looks over at Rey. She’s got shorts on and an oversized shirt with a band he’s never heard of and her head is tipped back to the sky. 

 

She looks happy and beautiful. 

 

“I never really get time to come out here,” she says. Can she feel his eyes on her? He looks away. 

 

_ Sixteen _ . He reminds himself. 

 

“I come out to the woods a lot,” he says honesty. 

 

Rey turns to him. “Do you ever see any wolves?” 

 

Ben stops walking, blinks down at her. 

 

“Wolves? No, they don’t ever come this close to town.” 

 

“Sometimes they do,” she says. “I saw one the other night.” 

 

Ben’s heart is racing. He knows exactly what Rey saw the other night. 

 

“Are you sure? Because if a wolf does end up close to humans, you better believe it’s close to starving.” 

 

“Not this one.” She’s looking at him so curiously. “It wasn’t afraid of me, and I wasn’t afraid of it. All my life I’ve heard them, they always sound… close.” 

 

“You’re being careless if you're getting close to wolves,” Ben says. 

 

He had been stupid to get that close to her, to let her see him. But he couldn’t help it; in his animal form it is harder to resist animal urges, animal thoughts. 

 

He just wanted to look at her for a little while. 

 

“Rey, do not go near the wolves, do you understand?” 

 

Rey tilts her head, puts her hand on her hip. The same stance his mother always took when she was about to rip into his father. 

 

“Don’t you tell me what to do Kylo Ren.” 

 

He walks closer to Rey. 

 

“I’m not telling you what to do,” he says softly. “I’m telling you what  _ not  _ to do. I know adult guidance is unfamiliar to you, but trust me, I am trying to keep you safe. Promise me you won’t go looking for wolves. Promise me now, Rey.” 

 

There’s a command in his voice, and he’s sure she’s going to relent until—

 

“No. I have lived my whole life making my own choices about what’s best for me and I know what I saw, and what I felt. This wolf wouldn’t have hurt me.”  

 

Ben’s heart clenches in his chest. She feels it, this bond, so strong and so sure that she’s defending it even to him. 

 

He takes her hands, both of them in his. 

 

“I don’t want anything bad to happen to you,” he tells her. “Maybe you’re right but what if you’re not? What if something happens and I—“ 

 

Ben shakes his head. Rey is looking up at him, her eyes are wide. He’s never touched her before, and knows why now. 

 

The place where his hands cover hers feels electric, warm currents sweeping through like faded static, like home cooked food in the distance, like turning your cheek to a fireplace. 

 

Rey looks at their hands for a long moment before speaking. 

 

“Okay.” Her eyes are wide. “I’ll be careful.” 

 

It’s not a promise to stay away, and he doesn't miss that. But as he lets her hands fall and moves to walk in front of her, he tries to let it go for now. 

 

He will just have to keep a closer eye on her. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We’re sorry this chapter is so short, but we really like it and hope y’all do too!
> 
> If you liked let us know?


	6. the cleavage

It’s Sunday, Ben’s favorite day. He brings Thai food this time, and Rey climbs up onto the counter to sit cross legged with a bowl of Pad Thai. 

 

“I’ve never had Thai food,” she says, twisting the rice noodles around. 

 

“Do you like it?” 

 

“I love it,” she mumbles around a mouthful, and he is not surprised at all. Rey likes everything he brings. 

 

It’s hot out, and hot in the little shop. He’s down to his dark jeans and a tee shirt, all black as usual, and he’s baking. 

 

Rey has it right, in jean shorts and a tank top, hair piled in a messy bun on her head. 

 

Her legs are so tan and smooth.

 

“What do you wanna do after high school?” he asks, trying to keep his eyes on his plate. 

 

Rey tilts her head, chopsticks halfway to her mouth. She scrunches her face in thought and takes another bite. 

 

“I want to travel. Go to college somewhere far away from here. I’ve always been good at math but it’s kind of boring so I was thinking like, architecture? Maybe design houses— homes for people. For myself, I don’t know.” 

 

She shrugs. 

 

_ The girl with no home wants to make them.  _ His heart does a little twisty thing.

 

“I think that sounds wonderful,” he tells her. 

 

Ben knows that  _ he _ can’t leave, not for any extended period of time. He is tied to Snoke and the wolves and the woods in a way that is deeper than a promise. The bond is magical and irreversible. 

 

“I think Japan must be cool,” she says, bringing him back. He pictures cherry trees, mountains, weird candy. 

 

“I’ve heard it’s amazing.” 

 

“Have you been?”

 

“No,” he says softly. “I’m not big on travel.” 

 

“Oh,” Rey says, and she’s kind of blushing. “Well, I mean. Here is nice too, you know, I bet. If your setup is— good.” 

 

He understands her desire to run away from all of this. 

 

“Sometimes you don’t have to go far to get out,” he tells her. 

 

Rey is quiet, digs around in her food for a minute, then she’s smiling again.

 

“What kind of music do you listen to?” she asks him. 

 

“Oh uh— old stuff. Joy Division, The Smiths, Queens of the Stone Age, Beck.” 

 

“I like Beck,” Rey says with a smile. “And Taylor Swift now that she does pop.” 

 

“I… have to admit I have never listened to Taylor Swift.” 

 

Rey’s eyes go wide, she actually sets her food down before she’s finished it. A first. 

 

“Okay well, you gotta. Right now.” 

 

“ _ No _ , I promise I will listen later if you— just please don’t—“ 

 

But Rey is fiddling with an ancient iPod stuck to the equally ancient iHome dock. 

 

A second later, bubblegum guitar begins to filter into the store. 

 

“Rey, I’m begging you, please stop.” But he’s smiling because she’s started to dance. 

 

_ Once upon a time _

_ A few mistakes ago _

_ I was in your sights  _

_ You got me alone  _

_ You found me  _

_ You found me _

_ You found meee _

 

Rey is singing along with the words, voice cracking adorably when the chorus hits. 

 

She’s just being silly, but there something about the way she’s looking at him that makes him want to dance with her, take her in his arms and—

 

He looks away, pretending to laugh. His mind keeps running ahead of him and he  _ can't let it _ or he will drown.

 

The door opens and an old man comes in, Rey turns the music down and goes to speak with him. She’s a little pink cheeked, she looks like she’s been dancing, or running, or…

 

Ben’s heart is beating fast, his skin feels a little tight. 

 

He watches Rey closely to make sure the guy doesn’t touch her— not even a finger. He doesn’t. But he does need something from a high shelf and Rey has to reach, reach,  _ reach _ to get it. 

 

Her shorts ride up, Ben can see all of her thighs and a little  _ more _ . 

 

He is suddenly, horrifying hard. 

 

He actually has to catch his breath, it’s dizzying to lose all the blood from his brain so quickly. 

 

He quietly adjusts himself, grabs his bag and moves to the front of the store. 

 

“I gotta go,” he calls to her. 

 

“What! Already?” Rey is pouting, ignoring the man she’s helping and turning pleading eyes to Ben. “I wanted to hang more.” 

 

“I— I’m not feeling great, kiddo. I’m sorry. Next week.” 

 

He gently touches her face and her eyes flutter. 

 

He has to get out of there, now. 

 

He smiles tightly and leaves the shop. 

 

He only drives away so Rey can see him driving away. He parks behind the diner a few blocks down and takes off on foot into the woods that run the edge of town. 

 

Then he howls, paws hitting the dirt floor, moving faster than he would as a human, thinking clearer now too. 

 

He knows exactly what he has to do. 

 

**

 

Rose and Finn are having a really great time.

 

They’re currently hunched over an old Addam’s Family pinball machine, Finn cheering on Rose excitedly as she reaches a fairly impressive high score.

 

And Rey is...well…

 

Not particularly pleased to be the third wheel on what is technically supposed to be a date. But Rose’s parents can be strict and wouldn’t let her go on a date without some supervision. It would have been a bit of a drag if Rose had brought her own sister along, so Rey was deemed an acceptable choice.

 

She’s happy for her friends.

 

But this place is the pits.

 

Mickey’s is a local hotspot in this nowhere town for teens and young adults, sporting both a bowling alley and a full arcade filled with classic and new games alike. Rey has been here a handful of times throughout her life, mostly birthday parties for kids who actually got to have birthday parties. This place was more fun back then.

 

Now she’s bored, too broke to buy more than a few games and too proud to ask either Finn or Rose for spare change. So she pretends she isn’t feeling well, content to sit at a booth by the concession stand and work on her homework.

 

But she finished that nearly forty-five minutes ago.

 

Loathe to interrupt her friends, she gathers all her things into her faded blue backpack and wanders into the women’s bathroom down by the bowling lanes. She does her business and is washing her hands when a young woman walks out of the other stall.

 

Rey blinks rapidly a few times because  _ wow _ , is this woman lovely. Long, shiny black hair, pretty brown eyes, ass practically hanging out of her shorts, and  _ cleavage _ . Rey wonders if she’ll ever have even a hint of  _ that _ , or if she’ll be cursed with her mosquito bites forever.

 

The girl catches Rey gawking at her in the mirror. She surprises her by smiling. Her makeup is perfect too.

 

“I like your shirt!” she says brightly. Rey stares stupidly for another moment before glancing down at what she’s wearing. It’s just an old Ariana Grande 2016 tour shirt she’d found for two dollars at GoodWill.

 

Before Rey can even say “thank you” the young woman is walking out the door.

 

Rey takes a few seconds to collect herself and get her brain back on track, before adjusting her backpack and following the other chick out the door.

 

She turns, about to begin walking over to the arcade side of the building, when a burst of loud laughter turns her head.

 

There’s a group of young men and women hovering around one particular lane, and Rey recognizes Sulpher, the guy Paige had been flirting with at The Bone a few months ago. He’s got his arm slung around the shoulders of another girl, Paige clearly forgotten.

 

Shaking her head, Rey is about to walk away when she sees Kylo.

 

She stops breathing for just a second, suddenly nervous and excited and jittery--the way she’s beginning to feel every time she hangs around him nowadays.

 

He’s sitting down on a bench near the lane...with the girl from the bathroom practically draped across him. She’s giggling and leaning into his large frame, whispering something into his ear. When he turns and brushes a kiss across her cheek, two things happen.

 

The first, powerful and instant and insane, are the words _he’s_ ** _mine_** that immediately enter Rey’s head.

 

The second, Rey wants to walk over to this chick and bite her. Rip and tear at her.

 

Startled with her severe reactions and growing more irritated with every passing second, Rey finally begins walking in the direction of the arcade.

 

Her heart falls into her stomach when she hears “Rey?”

 

She pauses, looks back at Kylo over her shoulder. His eyes widen when he sees her face. She wonders what kind of expression she’s sporting, so she quickly schools it into something blank so as not to give herself away. 

 

She gives him a half hearted wave and an even less enthusiastic smile. Kylo is opening his mouth to say something when the girl next to him, the beautiful lovely smiling cleavage-blessed girl, shifts on the bench and rests her hand on his knee.

 

“Sorry,” Rey calls, cutting off whatever it was Kylo had been about to say, “I don’t want to interrupt your date.”

 

Then she walks off without another word.

 

She clings to the stricken look on Kylo’s face for the next two days.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *ducks from tomatoes* WHATEVER Y'ALL SECRETLY LOVE THE ANGST WE ALL THRIVE ON PAIN HERE.
> 
> Like A Dove has [twitter](https://twitter.com/LikeADove_).  
> Violethoure666 has [twitter](https://twitter.com/Violethoure666).
> 
> If you liked let us know?


	7. the snow globe

Ben debates going over to Plutt’s before Sunday. He really does. But then he thinks that would be some sort of admission. It would mean he’s done something wrong and he  _ hasn’t _ . Rey is just a kid and he’s allowed to have a girlfriend. 

 

Besides, Jess is nice. 

 

So he waits until Sunday even though  it hurts worse than normal, even though he can’t even shift the last few days because every time he does he runs past her house, howling. 

 

So he’s jittery as hell when he shows up on Sunday with a veritable grocery store in his hands. 

 

He brought snacks this time, but he sets the Trader Joe’s bags down when he walks in, because Rey turns to him and she definitely has a little scowl on her face. 

 

“Hey,” he says. 

 

She turns away from him and resumes rebuilding the old stereo in front of her. The radio looks even older than he is. 

 

“How was your date?” 

 

It’s maybe meant to be a little sarcastic or maybe it’s just pure curiosity but she won’t look at him so it’s hard to tell. He comes and leans against the counter, ass resting on the glass case, elbows on the top. He looks down at her. 

 

“It was fun,” he says honestly. “She— Jess— she's nice.” 

 

“Are you going to like— keep seeing her?” 

 

Ben nods slowly.

 

“She’s my girlfriend. It’s a new thing, that’s why I haven’t mentioned it. But I was going to bring her up.” 

 

“Okay,” Rey says, shrugging. 

 

“Yeah?” Ben asks, genuine. 

 

“Sure, it’s fine. You can do— it’s fine.” 

 

She sounds a little flustered and Ben’s heart cramps. He wants to promise her that it will be okay but— 

 

“Good,” he says, smiling down at her. “I brought snacks.” 

 

Rey lights up, her eyes dart frantically around until they spot the bag. She moves from the radio, project forgotten. 

 

Ben has carrots and hummus, cookies, candy, chips and dip, trail mix and berries. He lays it out on the counter and Rey makes a little whimpering sound and dives for the cookies. 

 

She eats so, so fast, Ben just watches her for a few minutes. She hardly breaks to breathe. 

 

Rey has always been a fast eater but— 

 

“Rey,” he says slowly, casually, “When was the last time you ate?” 

 

Rey stops, her mouth is full of carrots and chips and hummus. She chews slower, buying herself time. Ben rounds on her, a sense of desperation welling up inside of him. 

 

And it hits him.  She’s starving. 

 

“Answer me, Rey. When?” 

 

She swallows and shrugs. 

 

“I guess— it’s my fault really— Friday I think? I— well Plutt went out with his friends for the weekend and he padlocked the fridge I— I don’t have any money. He will count the till when he’s back and it  _ can’t _ be off, so I just— I was just gonna wait.” 

 

Ben is furious. Plutt has been  _ starving _ her. 

 

“You’ve done this before,” Ben says, because of course she has. “ _ He’s _ done this before. Left you with no food for fucking days and—”

 

“Yes,” Rey says, not looking away from him. 

 

Ben feels rage boil in his blood and he isn’t sure if he can get it under control. He swipes his hand across the counter, knocking an old, cheesy snow globe to the floor and smashing it to pieces. 

 

Rey doesn’t flinch away, though. Instead she moves from behind the counter, coming to stand in front of him. 

 

Ben looks down at the glass— wants to offer to clean it— wants to break more things. He isn’t sure he can stay human, not like this— not when he’s just realized how bad she’s hurting. If he had just  _ come  _ when he felt the pain through the bond. But he selfishly assumed it was his own— he was so stupid— 

 

Then his breath hitches, his eyes refocus. Rey is standing text to him, her hand is on his face and it’s grounding him— pulling him back to earth, to his human body. 

 

“I’m sorry— I just—“ he shakes his head, doesn’t trust himself to speak. 

 

Rey looks so— bewildered. 

 

“It’s okay,” she whispers. 

 

“I’ll clean up the glass, watch your feet— please just eat. Keep whatever is here, hide it. I’ll bring you more— whenever— every day if you need.” 

 

“Shh,” she whispers. “I’m okay.” 

 

Ben’s heartbeat slows a little, his face slumps against her hand and he nods, then he steps back. 

 

“I’ll get a broom. Please just eat, I can order burgers or something if you need protein I— I just got snacks. That was stupid. I’ll get—“ 

 

“Snacks are perfect,” Rey assure him, backing away from Ben and lifting herself onto the counter. “It’s perfect.” 

 

She eats all the cookies while Ben sweeps up glass. 

 

**

 

Rey bounces up on the balls of her feet, searching the crowd of people gathering at the box office outside of the movie theater. Kylo had asked her last Sunday if she was excited about the newest Marvel movie being released today.

 

Rey hasn’t had the extra cash to see a movie in a long, long time. Kylo had offered to see it with her before she could come up with an excuse not to go.

 

He told her he’d give her a ride, but she’d walked here after closing Plutt’s shop for the evening. The night is cool and not too humid, plus the theater is only about a fifteen minute walk from her house.

 

Rey is excited, nervous,  _ definitely _ jittery. She and Kylo haven’t done much outside of their Sunday hang outs, much less go to a movie together.

She knows she’s making this into a bigger deal than it is. This is simply an outing between two friends, nothing more.

 

But then she remembers the way that snow globe had shattered to the floor of the shop, a victim of Kylo’s anger. How he’d gotten so upset that he’d smashed something, looked like he was about to Hulk out.  _ For her _ .

 

People don’t normally care about Rey like that. Aside from Finn and Rose, no one else thought she was worth getting that worked up over.

 

Rey had relished his anger, relished the way his stubble covered cheek had felt underneath her palm.

 

Tonight her hair is down and she’s put on a little mascara. She had wanted to look nice.

 

Letting out a shaky breath, she continues searching the growing crowd until she spots Kylo walking in her direction from the busy parking lot.

 

He looks...sullen. No, not sullen. He looks guilty. Rey feels her happy grin fade into confusion, not understanding why Kylo is already upset--

 

Ah. Jess is right behind him, chattering animatedly and not seeming to realize that Kylo isn’t paying much attention to what she’s saying.

 

Rey lets a blank expression slip over her face, determined not to let on to how--to how--

 

To how fucking  _ devastated _ she feels in this moment.

 

Kylo comes to a stop beside her, Jess right behind him. She beams at Rey, sticking her hand out for a shake instantly. “You must be Rey! Kylo has told me so much about you that I just  _ had _ to come and meet you for myself. Hope I’m not interrupting.” She punctuates her last statement with the cheeky wink of someone who believes they’re not really interrupting anything at all.

 

Rey wants to punch her.

 

“Hi,” she says flatly, accepting Jess’ handshake. “Nice to meet you. Kylo mentioned you once, I think.”

 

The way Jess’ smile falters ever so slightly fills Rey with more joy than it should. Unable to help how her mouth curls in smugness, she raises an eyebrow at Kylo and jerks her head to the box office. “Shall we?”

 

Kylo buys their tickets, darting furtive glances at Rey whenever he thinks she’s not looking. There’s a part of her that wants to take pity on him, wants to let him off the hook since it seems as if Jess tagging along was not his idea.

 

He confirms as much when Jess uses the restroom while they wait in line for popcorn.

 

“Rey, listen, I’m sorry. Jess asked me this morning after I woke up what my plans were for today and I--”

 

Rey puts two and two together immediately. And she openly scoffs, causing Kylo to trail off.

 

She’s full on glaring at him now, knowing her anger with him is irrational but--but--

 

Rey doesn’t want to share Kylo Ren. Something tells her she never will.

 

“ _ Rey _ .”

 

Kylo’s sharp tone of voice has her coming back into focus.

 

“Jess is my girlfriend.” His mouth is set in a hard line. “I’m allowed to date people, okay?” He says it in a vaguely nice way, as if he’s tip toeing with this subject, as if he really doesn’t want to hurt her feelings.

 

She thinks, totally unbidden, of that smashed snow globe and how enraged he’d been for her.

 

There’s a prick behind her eyes and she takes a deep breath, willing away her tears. This is stupid and she  _ will not _ cry.

 

Ben looks torn between guilt and anger, but they’re both saved from each other when Jess gets in line with them, babbling on about how ridiculously overpriced but delicious the pretzels are, entirely unaware of the tense standoff happening between the two people she’s with.

 

When Jess somehow manages to work her way into sitting in between Rey and Kylo for the movie, Rey gives up all pretense of having any chill. She doesn’t eat any of the popcorn or candy that Kylo had spent half a fortune on, instead willing the movie to somehow go by faster than it’s two and a half hour runtime.

 

She’s barely aware of what happens. Spiderman is cute and does lots of cool stuff. Whatever.

 

As they walk out into the cool night, Rey shrugs off Kylo’s concern, Jess’ questioning expression.

 

“Let us give you a ride home,” Kylo says insistently as Rey begins to make toward the woods that will lead her toward the back of her house. “Please, Rey--”

 

She’s not sure what he says next because the only thing her brain can concentrate on is that horrible  _ us _ .

 

There’s not supposed to be an  _ us _ .

 

There’s only supposed to be a Rey and Kylo.

 

“I’ll be okay.” She can’t even muster up the emotional energy to give him a convincing smile.

 

He wants to argue, she can tell. Probably wants to pick her up and forcibly place her in his car so he’ll know for sure that she’ll get home safe.

 

The not-so-nice part of Rey takes a slight vindictive pleasure in being able to deny him this. She tells him she guesses she’ll see him on Sunday and ignores him as he calls out to her, ignores her own sniffling as she walks the trail back home, ignores Kylo’s car parked at the shop when she gets there so that he can confirm she got back okay.

 

She ignores the way she’s hungry; she should have forced down some of that popcorn. She ignores the way the whole apartment smells like fart because Plutt clogged the toilet two days ago and hasn’t fixed it yet.

 

She ignores everything until she’s inside her room and in her pajamas. She perches by her window and waits, waits to hear the howling, waits to see just a flash of him.

 

Rey will never ignore her wolf.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp.
> 
> One thing! Just to confirm, since we've seen several readers guess that Rey is an Omega, this is not an A/B/O story but a werewolf AU. We will be sticking to more traditional wolf/pack behavior ;)
> 
> We love you guys and are kinda blown away by the lovely response this fic has received so far. You guys are dope and we're loving writing this for y'all! <3
> 
> Like A Dove has [twitter](https://twitter.com/LikeADove_).  
> violethoure666 has [twitter](https://twitter.com/Violethoure666).
> 
> If you liked let us know?


	8. the woods

 

When Ben is a kid he feels like he is built  _ wrong.  _ Something inside of him is just a little  _ off _ . His skin is too tight, his anger too quick to rise. His mother is always embarrassed by him and his father doesn’t really know what to do with him, always tells him to  _ buck up kid _ when Ben has one of his meltdowns. 

 

When he is thirteen, his parents send him to a  _ special school _ run by a man named Charles Snoke. 

 

It’s a boot camp, basically, or so they think. 

 

Really it’s a recruitment center run by Snoke.

 

The strongest, the fastest, the most _emotionally_ _charged_ kids are given special treatment, taken on day trips with Snoke himself, made to feel _special._

 

Then, on his fourteenth birthday Ben is bitten. He is renamed Kylo. He is kept at Snoke’s right side. 

 

Ben hardly thinks about  _ before,  _ anymore. 

 

The school sends letters home saying Ben is  _ gifted _ and is being offered a full ride at an elite boarding school. 

 

He only goes home twice after that, for a week each summer and that first time he almost tells his mom. 

 

_ There’s real magic,  _ he wants to tell her,  _ and it’s inside of me. I’m special. I’m important.  _

 

But he is surprised to find he is hardly missed at home. His mother is running a campaign and his father is drinking and gambling but somehow they seem to get along better when Ben isn’t around. 

 

“They don’t love you,” Snoke says. “They’re better off without you, and you’re better off where you belong. At my side.” 

 

And Ben sees that it’s true. 

 

He doesn't come home again after that second summer, when he’s sixteen. 

 

It takes nearly two years but his mother eventually shows up, demanding to see her son. 

 

At that point Ben is eighteen, he has made his own choice, and he asks her not to come back. 

 

Not because he doesn't want to see her, he does, but because it isn’t safe. He knows that by then. 

 

What had seemed like such a blessing at first has warped. 

 

Snoke’s pack grew with every problem child that he recruited. He stirs bloodlust in his wolves, encourages fighting for dominance and violence as a means to solve problems. 

 

Ben is his best fighter. 

 

Sometimes, he makes the wolves fight to the death. 

 

The first time Ben kills a fellow wolf he is twenty. Snoke gets him drunk afterwards and tells him that he has always known Ben was the strongest, the most important. 

 

That one day, all this will be his. 

 

It doesn’t matter that by then, Ben doesn’t want it anymore. 

 

***

 

Ben is sore. Really sore. It doesn’t happen often, but there was a rival pack that was slowly creeping into their woods and Snoke had ordered all wolves to fight.

 

Ben spends two whole days fighting in the woods. 

 

He is bruised and he has a gash on his thigh that is worse in human form than in wolf form, to his dismay. 

 

He hasn't left his house since the fight, is metaphorically and literally licking his wounds. 

 

But they had defended the woods, Snoke still reigned supreme. 

 

Ben hears a knock on the door and he can smell Snoke even without seeing him. 

 

The knock is a courtesy, Snoke has keys, he owns the whole street. This is where all of the wolves live. 

 

“It’s open,” he calls. 

 

Snoke comes inside without a word. He is badly scarred from years of fighting, which makes him look older than his forty years. One of his ears is missing. You can tell he had been handsome once, but his eyes are always so cold. 

 

Ben can’t stand the sight of him. 

 

“Kylo,” Snoke says, sneering at him, “you missed dinner last night.” 

 

“I was a little worn out,” Ben says with a tight smile. 

 

“I’m sure. I have a new assignment for you.” 

 

“What is it?” 

 

“Wood patrol, I need you on the border.” 

 

Ben frowns. That’s new recruit stuff, Ben never has to do basic patrols. 

 

“Okay,” he agrees, because he has no choice. 

 

“Just once a week, let’s say… Sundays? Unless you have other plans.” 

 

Ben’s blood runs cold. This isn’t about the woods, this is about Rey. Somehow Snoke knows. 

 

“No plans,” Ben says, keeping his voice even and his posture loose. He can’t look guilty. 

 

“Of course,” Snoke says, smiling cruelly. “You know you’re my best pup, Kylo.” 

 

“Thank you, sir.” 

 

“And I trust that you would never keep secrets from me.”

 

Ben’s stomach drops and his heart rises into his throat. 

 

“No sir, of course not.” 

 

“Good. Then I’ll see you at dawn on Sunday. Make sure you take care of that leg. I can smell infection coming.” 

 

“Yes sir.”

 

“Good dog,” Snoke says, and he reaches up to touch Ben’s face. Ben can smell his sour breath. Then he turns on his heel and leaves. 

 

Once he’s gone, Ben starts hyperventilating. 

 

Snoke knows about Rey. Snoke knows about Rey. 

 

Ben’s heart is a mess, he’s terrified in a way he has no roadmap for navigating. It’s new, caring about someone else. 

 

He paces around his apartment, berating himself. He’s been so fucking careless, spending time with Rey on a predictable schedule. Even bringing Jess around to  _ The Bone _ in an attempt to throw the wolves off of Rey hadn’t worked. 

 

His thoughts are going so fast it takes a while to sort them. 

 

Rey is almost seventeen, she’s nearly done with her junior year which means in a year she will be out, able to go to college far away from him. 

 

His mind flicks over the fact that she will also be eighteen, because that has never mattered. Ben has never been so delusional as to think that Rey being  _ legal  _ solves any fucking problem. It doesn’t. 

 

Ben can never be with Rey, the only way to keep her safe is to make sure she has a shot at getting out of this shit town. He wants her to be safe, even if it means she’s far, far away from him. 

 

Ben knows it will hurt forever, but not in the same way watching Snoke rip Rey to shreds would hurt. 

 

That’s a pain he wouldn’t survive. 

 

He can figure out how to explain why he can’t come around, or maybe he could come around Saturdays, would Snoke notice? Probably. Definitely. 

 

Ben is so selfish, so fucking selfish because he can’t stand to give this up, can’t even fathom the hole in his heart that will be left when Rey moves on, when she leaves him. 

 

Ben has never loved anyone before, but he loves Rey. He knows it, because the idea of letting her go isn’t sour or dark when he turns it over in his mind. 

 

He thinks about the life ahead of her, the freedom and the opportunities and his heart soars. 

 

He loves Rey, and he knows for sure now that the only way to protect her is to get her far, far away from him. 

 

And if he does whatever he can to secretly soak in her light and her company before that day comes well, then so be it. 

 

He will figure out a way to make it work. 

 

Because like a good dog, he will take whatever scraps he can get. 

**

 

The woods are damp.

It had stormed late last night and into the morning; Rey had stayed up for most of it. She’s always liked storms, has always enjoyed the way the rain will pitter-patter against the window. She’d nodded off for a few hours when the sun had started to rise, waking later to Plutt banging on her door and shouting for her to get the fuck up already. Then he’d gone out for the weekend.

Sometimes Rey likes to rebel, however. And today she’s doing so by keeping the shop closed until noon and opting for a late-morning hike through the woods instead.

Wet leaves and wet earth squish underneath her beat up sneakers. Humming happily to herself, she meanders between trees, trailing her fingertips along bark. Her thoughts eventually drift where they always do, to Kylo.

She wonders what he’s doing, if he’s spending the day with Jess, if he’s working. If he’s hanging out with those questionable bar friends of his.

Rey has his number. She could technically call him, ask him what he’s up to. But she decides not to, as she always ends up doing. She would hate to bother him, can’t stand the idea of ever being an annoyance to him. The concept upsets her more than she can possibly explain.

Lost in her thoughts and not paying attention to her footing, Rey doesn’t see the fallen tree branch until she’s tripped over it. She hits the ground with a soft and squishy thud.

She rolls to her feet with a sigh. Now there’s mud caked over her knees and the front of her t-shirt. She’ll have to wash her clothes as soon as she gets back home; if Plutt sees he’ll ask why and how she managed to get her belongings so filthy. 

She wipes her dirty hands off on her jeans, knowing they’re already a lost cause, when out of the corner of her eye she sees it. Or rather,  _ him _ .

Her wolf, barely ten feet away from her. He’s frozen now that she’s spotted him, dark fur blending in effortlessly with the shady woods surrounding him. She’s amazed it took her so long to notice him, but she  _ had _ been deep in her thoughts, and he _ is _ technically off the trail.

Rey’s wolf is absolutely stunning.

She stands stock still, heart beating wildly, breaths erratic. He doesn’t move, keeps his dark brown eyes fastened to her.

Feeling completely and absolutely insane, Rey takes a step forward.

The wolf stays still.

She takes another one, and still the great beast does not move.

Her feelings of insanity quickly bleed into ones of sheer elation because  _ the wolf is staying put _ . And really she should turn around and start making her way back home, Kylo’s warnings from months ago echoing around inside of her head.

_ “Promise me you won’t go looking for wolves.” _

Well, Rey  _ wasn’t _ looking for her wolf. He found her.

He’s only a few feet away now. His tail is relaxed, and his ears are pricked forward in interest. He looks...curious. Curious at what Rey is going to do next.

And she’s honestly not sure what she  _ should _ do. This is easily the craziest thing that’s ever happened to her. And she knows, _ she just knows _ that this creature would never do anything to harm her.

Never  _ ever _ .

So, moving slowly, she reaches out a hand to see if he’ll let her touch him.

Rey forces herself not to shriek in delight when her wolf ducks down a little bit, allowing the tips of her fingers to brush the top of his head. Grinning, she moves her hand to his ears, marveling at how soft the fur is there, before beginning to scratch.

The wolf lets out a great big whooshing breath and then, as if making a final decision, closes the distance between them and nudges her shoulder with his muzzle. 

“You want cuddles, big guy?” His ears prick forward at the sound of her voice and he gazes at her, his eyes nearly level with her own. Rey is grinning so widely she can already feel an ache beginning in her cheeks. She brings up her other hand and begins scratching his head in earnest. The wolf groans, leaning into her touch.

His tail is wagging and Rey could die from happiness right here, right now.

“Who’s a good boy?” 

He whines happily against her palm and Rey… Rey decides to bury her face in his fur. He stills, and for a moment she thinks maybe she pushed her luck, maybe this step was a step too far. But a moment later he’s using his muzzle to push her back against him, his equivalent of a wolf hug. 

She breathes him in, the smell of woods and rain and dog, all comforting and warm and healing. She can hear him sniffing her as well, and wonders if she smells as good to him as he does to her. 

Rey’s heart hasn’t felt so full in a long time. “You’re so good, the best wolf ever.” He takes her endearments happily, letting out a bereft snort when she pulls away from him. 

But she’s only pulled away so that she can do the final insane thing, which is pepper his beautiful wolf face with kisses. He starts groaning when she reaches his ears, complete putty under her hands. 

She goes back to scratching his ears, pulling back a little so that she can look him in the eye again. The way he’s gazing up at her, Rey could swear this creature adores her. 

“Don’t let anyone else pet you, or I might get jealous,” she tells him firmly. “You’re  _ mine _ .”

The wolf lets out a little yip, an odd sound to come from such a mighty animal, but Rey gets the sense that he’s assuring her that he is, in fact, hers. 

She’s about to start cuddling him again when a chorus of howling starts up, ripping the black wolf’s attention away from her. He stares off in the direction the howls came from, suddenly on high alert. Then he turns and gives her a look that can only be described as forlorn before turning and trotting off in the opposite direction. 

Right before he’s out of sight, he looks back at her over his shoulder. Rey waves at him. 

She smiles to herself all the way back home. What a hell of a thing to happen to her the day before she turns seventeen. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There has been some comment drama and we just wanna say a few things. The last thing we wanna do is discourage people from commenting because we love hearing your thoughts. Comments are our currency for writing fic. We know some of you have expressed concern when it comes to commenting for fear of being accidentally rude, so if you’re worried here’s an easy way to think about it: please don’t comment on how WE as authors are telling this story, for example, please don’t say “I don’t understand why you would make ben do this” or “why did you have Rey do _____”
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> Commenting on the characters eg; “Ben is being so ridiculous” or “Rey is acting like such a typical teenager and it’s driving me crazy” is totally fine. 
> 
> If you don’t know what to say at all, we LOVE knowing what your favorite scene is, favorite lines or details. Things like “My favorite part of this is when _____” is an awesome comment to get!! 
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	9. the bruises

It’s hot, too hot for Ben, who is pretty much  _ always  _ hot. But he isn’t complaining despite the sweat dripping into his eyes. 

 

Plutt’s shop has no AC, but there’s a big box fan pushing the hot air around and making sweat dry on his neck and his shirt stick to his skin. 

 

Rey is less sweaty than Ben is, but she’s still got a little sheen on her long, tan legs and on her chest. She’s in shorts and a tank top and it’s a very normal outfit, to be sure, but it’s making the heat in the shop seem a thousand times more oppressive. 

 

He’s been staring at her all morning, so it’s surprising that it takes him so long to notice the dotting bruises on her upper arm. Once he does, he feels the hair on his neck stand on end, a slow churning in his gut that always preceded a transformation. He swallows down the taste of metal. 

 

Rey catches his stare, she looks at her arm and shrugs, but she won’t meet his eyes. 

 

“Rey,” he says, almost a growl. 

 

“Kylo,” she answers, rolling her eyes a little. “It’s nothing.” 

 

“Did Plutt do it?” 

 

He already knows the answer, but she just shrugs and turns away from him. He feels his body temperature rise, digs his nails into his palm until he breaks skin, trying to ground himself. 

 

“It was my fault,” Rey says, “honestly I— I was being stupid and—“ 

 

“No,” Ben snaps. “It is  _ never _ your fault, he shouldn’t lay a fucking finger on you, ever. Do you understand? I will report that mother fucker right now.” 

 

“He doesn’t— Kylo he doesn’t, please. If you do they — they could take me away.” 

 

That shuts him up. He blinks at her. If it’s a choice between keeping her here where she’s being hurt and letting her go, that’s no choice at all. 

 

“Rey,” he says softly. “I will not stand by and watch him hurt you. Do you understand? I’ll kill him before I let that happen.” 

 

He can see goosebumps rise along her arms, wants to smooth them out with his fingers. The idea of someone taking her away is crushing but she’s leaving anyway, isn’t she? She will be starting her senior year in just a couple months, and then off to who knows where. 

 

Far away from him. 

 

If he has to cut that time short to save her, he absolutely will. 

 

“It’s not your call to make,” she says, putting a hand on her hip. “I can take care of myself.” 

 

“He’s fucking  _ hurting you!”  _ Ben screams, his voice is too loud and he knows it but Rey doesn’t back down. She doesn’t look scared. 

 

“What part of  _ they will take me away from you  _ are you not understanding?” 

 

She sounds a little desperate, and his heart breaks. He is so  _ hot _ he can’t think, his skin is itching and it’s too cluttered and dusty and swampy in this stupid fucking store. 

 

“Rey, I would rather have you a million miles away from me and  _ safe  _ than have you here being hurt, what kind of a question even is that? Plus, you’re leaving soon.” 

 

_ You’re leaving me _ , he thinks,  _ you’re leaving me here and it will break me.  _

 

Rey blinks back tears and she puts a hand on her heart, startled. 

 

“Kylo I—“ she blinks again, and laughs in a watery, hysterical way. “I can feel you.” 

 

“What?” 

 

She doesn’t mean what he thinks she means— she can’t. 

 

“Your heart,” she says, shaking her head. Her eyes are wide with wonder. “I feel it—“ 

 

She doesn’t finish her sentence, at that second the door to the front of the shop slams open and Plutt’s hulking form fills the doorway. Ben’s heart rate skyrockets, his vision gets clearer, he can feel his body revolting. 

 

He is not going to wolf out right now, he  _ can’t,  _ because he cannot leave Rey here. 

 

“You. You stupid little bitch, either you’re too dumb to fucking count or you’ve been robbing me.” 

 

He advances on Rey, who shakes her head, looking confused. 

 

And Ben— well Ben can feel Rey’s heart too, and it’s ready to burst out of her chest with fear. 

 

_ Your mate is scared. She’s in danger. Protect her.  _

 

Ben steps closer to Rey. 

 

“Who the fuck is this creep? Get out,” he hisses, and then he grabs Rey. 

 

The instant his hand is on her, it’s over. Ben hasn’t lost control since he was a teenager but he loses control now. 

 

His vision snaps, he can feel his teeth pushing through gums and his bones cracking to rearrange themselves and then he’s looking up at Rey, up at Plutt. He’s looking  _ up  _ because he’s got all four paws on the floor— not feet, not hands.  _ Paws _ . 

 

He’s a wolf, and his wolf brain doesn’t care about logistics, or exposure or reactions. He does the only thing he can think to do; he throws his body in between his mate and the threat, teeth bared and ready to attack. 

 

***

 

Rey does not scream. 

 

There’s a—there’s a wolf where Kylo just was, and not just any wolf  _ her wolf  _ Kylo is  _ her wolf hers hers hers— _

 

The coarse fur of his tail brushes against her bare legs as the great black wolf positions herself between her and Plutt. 

 

Plutt, on the other hand,  _ is _ screaming. 

 

“WHAT THE FUCK?! HOLY SHIT—“ Rey’s oaf of a foster dad scrambles backwards, trying desperately to put some distance between himself and the beast—no,  _ werewolf _ —and knocks over a glass display stand that shatters as soon as it hits the floor. 

 

The fur along Kylo’s back is standing on end and he’s crouched low with his tail straight out, glaring and snarling at Plutt, moments away from launching himself forward and sinking his teeth into the other man. 

 

Rey can hardly work through her own emotions. She feels as if she can still feel Kylo’s heart, beating wildly in his wolf chest. He is not afraid. He is angry. Furious. And he’ll protect her until he dies. 

 

But then, hasn’t she always known this about her wolf? That around him she is safe?

 

Swallowing thickly, Rey raises herself to her full height and places her hand on Kylo’s back. He presses some of his weight back into her, determined to keep himself in between her and Plutt. She curls her fingers into his fur and finds her voice. 

 

“You’re right Plutt, I did steal from you.”

 

Plutt tears his eyes away from the wolf to look at her hatefully and Kylo lowers the volume of his growls so that Rey might be heard. 

 

“You haven’t bought groceries in nearly a month and last night I was hungry.” Rey sounds casual, but it is forced. Underneath her bravado her own heart is hammering, fingers trembling. “So I took cash out of the register to buy some McDonald’s.”

 

Plutt wants to say something, she knows he does. But he wisely keeps his mouth shut. 

 

Rey steps forward, her wolf right by her side. 

 

“But that’s not going to happen again.” Her voice echoes throughout the humid shop as she continues to grow in confidence. “From now on the kitchen will always be stocked. You’re—You’re going to pay me for all the time I spend working your shop for you. You’re going to pay the electric and water bills on time. You’re going to let me come and go as I please, and you will never, ever lay a finger on me ever again. Do you understand?”

 

Plutt is looking back and forth between her and Kylo, face puce with his fury. “You—you—“

 

“If you don’t,” Rey continues sweetly, “then there will be more where this came from.”

 

She removes her hand from Kylo’s back. 

 

The wolf launches forward, teeth snapping, and lands on top of Plutt with a heavy crash. The fat man screams. 

 

Rey watches, feeling gleeful and knowing she shouldn’t, as Kylo rips into Plutt’s shoulder with a bloody squelch. 

 

Her foster father pisses his pants, the smell of it permeating the air quickly and making her gag. 

 

It’s her gagging that has the wolf backing quickly off his prey. He turns to face Rey as she slowly drops to her knees, the weight of everything that’s happened in the last few minutes settling heavily on her shoulders. 

 

“Oh god,” she breathes, feeling lightheaded. “Holy shit.”

 

Kylo whines and steps into her space, pushing his head at her neck and shoulder. 

 

Rey wraps her arms around his shoulders quickly, pulling him against her. His wolf smell comforts her and she shudders into his embrace. 

 

“I think I knew,” she mumbles into his fur, not worried in the least over whether or not he can hear and understand her. “Deep down. I knew something was up with you.”

 

The wolf shudders. 

 

Rey presses her palm flat against his wolf-chest. “What are we?”

 

The words tumble past her lips before she can really think on what they mean or why she says them. But as soon as she utters them she knows they’ve been in her heart for awhile. 

 

“I can still feel you.”

 

Kylo is happy in every basic sense of the word. He vanquished the immediate threat. And he protected her. He is  _ happy _ . 

 

The wolf whines again and then a large, smooth tongue drags over her throat and jaw line. He laps at her for a moment and Rey threads her fingers through his fur, holding him closer. 

 

She wishes he would do this in his human form. 

 

The wolf must feel this, because he backs away, but only a little. Only so that he can hold her eyes with his own, the same rich brown color they are when he is a man. 

 

Rey leans forward and kisses his wet nose, the side of his snout, in between his eyes. The beast moans with joyfulness that is quickly overshadowed by a different kind of moan coming from Plutt. The man is still sprawled across the floor, bleeding and lying in a puddle of his own urine. 

 

“I should call 911.” Rey looks at Plutt briefly before turning her attention back to the wolf. “You should go.”

 

The wolf wants to stay with her. She can tell by the way he tilts his head when he regards her. But then he lets out a long wolfy sigh, and it’s like Rey can see the man win out over the wolf. The animal backs away toward the door, trying in vain not to knock over and destroy anymore merchandise. 

 

“Come back tonight,” she calls out suddenly. The wolf pauses. 

 

“Come back tonight, Kylo. So you can explain.”

 

He yips. She’s not sure if he’s agreeing or not. 

  
“If you don’t,  _ I’ll _ find  _ you _ .”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *chuckles and waves with equal awkwardness* Heeeeeeyyyy.
> 
> It's been a little bit. It be like that sometimes. There's been a smorgasbord of different things going on in our personal lives but we are still super, super into this story. We hope y'all are too <3
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